Illiterate? The Department of Asur Education wants to help YOU! Please write us today so we may help you!"
"Used Tombstone. Perfect for someone named Morach the Beastmaster. One only in good condition - only one previous owner. Please contact Korhil at 1093 Roaring road, Chrace, Ulthuan."
"Wanted: Excavation team to go find Caledor's ship. Must be willing to travel great distances and face obscenely large sea critters with many teeth. Great treasures await. Loss of limb or life almost guaranteed. Contact Bel-marnne the Sea Guard Captain for details."
"For Sale: One (1) Large sword plunged in stone. $49. Must be able to pull free from stone on your own. Ask for Caradryan at Phoenix Temple. Expect written reply within four days.
"Found: Angry blue dragon. Very large. Seems to be looking for home. Please Help, is burning up mansion!!"
"Need: 10 dragon princes, 1 dwarven organ gun, and a bretonnian zepplin for practical joke. Are you willing to help? Call [long string of elven numbers here]"
"Lion for sale. Will eat anything and is fond of small children and kittens. Contact Korhil for details."
"Lost: Stormwing. Large griffon with black and white fur and feathers. Scar on left eye. Last seen in Tor Yvresse archery range. Contact Warden's office if seen."
"Charioteers needed. Nights and weekends, irregular hours during wartime. Must have good driving record and no objections to running down hapless druchii with well-trained war-lions. Apply in person at 1093 Roaring road, Chrace."
"Former Lord of the Shadowlands: Having successfully disrupted more than enough druchii's businesses involving Ulthuan, I am now seeking a legal and legimate part-time job to support myself and my girl when war isn't around.
Business experience: Co-owned and participated in one multi-national trade company with over 190 ships, four gryffons and two dragons. Successfully smuggled more than 150 million tons of incense and various other goods into Ulthuan. Company was destroyed during the kinship wars with Malekith. Been employed part-time since.
Attributes: Expert in assassinations, martial arts, all levels of security, moving undetected, seduction, courtly rituals, and the throwing of deadly black roses. I am personable, outgoing, well-educated, reliable, clean, and remains sober at all times. Received public notice and numerous awards for saving Ulthuan on eight various occasions. I am well travelled, and speak high and low gothic, Druchii, Bretonnian, Asrai, Asur (Caledorian, Nargarythe and Sapherian dialects, respectively), Dawi, in addition to at least four different tongues of demons. References available from Phoenix King, Captain of the Phoenix Guard, Korhil, the White Tower, and etc. Inquire as needed.
Please direct reply to: A. Anar. Shadow Box 482, Ulthuan Arcane Post, undisclosed, undisclosed, classified."
|
