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Home » Great Library at Hoeth » Book of Tales » The Works of Arondight » Musings on Ellyrian Reavers
| Musings on Ellyrian Reavers |
| By Arondight |
Q: Why do Ellyrian Reavers wear those stupid looking feather-things?
A: Zis? Ztupide? Non non non! *Pats feather proudly* Zis...Zis iz zee panaché! Et iz heart, zoul, and zpirit of zee Ellyrian Reavarz. Every Reavar worz 'iz zalt vears zee "fay-thar," az you ztrange vuman-child callz it proudly, zee!
Q: Um. What's with the accent?
A: Vat accent?
Q: Nevermind. Is there a reason why you do not wear armour?
A: Armor iz...'ow shall ve zay et. Uncomfortable. Ve do not like et! It chaffez and iz itchy. 'ot in zee zummar and cold in zee vinter. Can't vipe sveat from eyes, zee - armor prevents us from reaching 'ankies. Ever vunder why Zee Zilver Helmz are alwayz ticked off? Zat be zee reasun.
Q: What do you use for armor then?
A: Zilken Undervear, ov course! Our undergarmentz are made from zee finest zilkz, grown from zee Everqueene'z court, or imported from zee far Orient!
Q: ...What?
A: Zilk iz a vary tough zubztance!~ Arrowz cannot eazily penetrate zee zilk from a long diztance. You realize zat zomtimes zee zilk can even hold zee arrowz in place, allowing zee arrow to be drawn out by pulling zee zilk, right? Plus, *wink* You zhould meet zome ov zee ladies.
Q: Maybe later. Another question. What's that bow you're using, and what could you guys do?
A: Zee recurved bow? And ahm. Allow me to demunztrate.
(Interviewer blinked. The Ellyrian Reaver in question had just shot the feathers off a diving sparrow at around ~350 feet during full gallop.)
Q: .....(Interviewer has momentarily forgotten the question she was supposed to be asking.)
A: Oh. Zis? Iz nothing.
Q: (Regaining composure) About that shot -
A: *Proudly* Mark IV, 'eat-zeeking infrared narrow-'ead, for zmall, flying targetz. Auto-'omes unto target vith zree feet. Normally uzed for African Zwallows vith a common airzpeed velozity ov ~450 ft. Ve 'ave arrowz for all occazionz. Vuld you like to zee ze vun zat firez 'undreds ov zrowing ztarz?
Q: Um. No thank you. Vut - I mean, What do you Reavers do in your spare time?
A: Ve zing zongs, dance, or ve charm vumen.
Q: ...Excuse me? O_o
A: Ve bringz a love for life to everyvun. Being cavalierz do have itz perks, you knov? Ve taught zee Bretonnianz zeir "Knightly Love." Ve also invented zee large fay-thared 'atz zat are vary popular in zee Empire.
Q: I see. Speaking of which, how many men did you have with you? I thought you were riding to the aid of -
A: Men? Zilly vuman-child, ve are vun elfe, VUN ELFE! Vat, are you blind?
Q: We're running a little short on time here. Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?
A: Vell, vun zing. Ve are -not- perverted! It iz true zat ve oogle zee ladiez, but unlike many otherz, ve actually care about zem az people! Voe betide anyvun 'hu vrongs vumen - vell, vhen ve aren't vatching, anywayz.
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