Work In Progress: GW-style Army Book

Message

Musashi · #1 Post by **Musashi** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 5:33 pm

1. Decide theme and call in the marketing department

2. Plan and create miniatures

3. Plan book layout

4. Create units and work out stats and cost

5. Create magic items

6. Write army and unit fluff

7. Play test army

8. Test out colour combinations

9. Sell miniatures $\:D/$

10. Oh yeah, publish book, beta version

11. Wait six months for bugs to be discovered and issue errata and FAQ

12. Sell new batch of models

Note: steps 2, 9 and 12 will be bypassed, this time round.

to be continued

dabber · #2 Post by **dabber** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:40 am

Steps 7 and 11 are also skipped. Well 11 is sometimes done, but not in any sort of time frame.

geoguswrek · #3 Post by **geoguswrek** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:19 am

Steps 4+5 should be quite closely linked, since you made need to make units more expensive on the back of the effect of an item. Unless you plan to do this in playtesting?

Musashi · #4 Post by **Musashi** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:44 am

[Not too long ago, in an office not too far away]

Marketing guy: We need to sell more miniatures.

Creative guy: Let's make a new line of models.

Production guy: We're maxed out, besides, won't that be cannibalizing our sales on other ranges?

Marketing guy: How about new units for existing lines?

CG: Like what?

MG: How about giving guns to the High Elves? That should stir sales.

Fluff guy: Are you kidding? That doesn't fit their profile.

Accounts guy: Will people buy them?

MG: Sure, the HE players have been clamouring for something to offset the power creep of the new lists.

FG: Which you instigated.

MG: It moves stock, doesn't it? So, how about it? Elves with guns.

FG: No.

CG: Rare, then? It wouldn't make a difference in popularity, since they have four slots at 2K.

MG: I'm thinking expensive metal models, bulky to justify it.

CG: Lion cloaks?

MG: Sounds good. Let's try out Chracian Jaegers.

FG: Chracian Jaegers? Doesn't even sound Tolkien.

CG: Doesn't sound fluffy.

MG: Come to think of it, neither really marketable; we'll have to drop that.

FG: Thank ...

MG: And come up with another name.

FG: What?

CG: I know, let's call them Thundercats. Because of the loud noise guns make.

FG: (heavy sarcasm) You'll need a special character.

CG: (clueless) Lion-O? Loon Attic?

MG: I love it. We'll sell out the production run.

FG: What about the internal game balance?

AG: Our internal balance is more important, as presented in the quarterly balance sheet.

Marwynn · #5 Post by **Marwynn** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:54 am

I'm all for Thundercats just as I am for this project of yours. Keep us posted and well informed of your ideas and thought processes--such exploits of madmen must be recorded.

Edgar · #6 Post by **Edgar** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:09 am

I think we're going to have the fire the Fluff guy, too much of a nay-sayer.

draxynnic · #7 Post by **draxynnic** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 1:46 pm

Man, the Fluff guy should at least have held out for Royal Cothiquan Marines with something like sea dragon cloaks. Then not only does a neglected province get a new unit, but they can also further mine the Pirates of the Carribean relationship with the Corsairs!

Arondight · #8 Post by **Arondight** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:44 pm

I....approve. Wholeheartedly.

If you want a fluff writer I'm your gal.

Musashi · #9 Post by **Musashi** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:46 pm

Arondight wrote:I....approve. Wholeheartedly.

If you want a fluff writer I'm your gal.

Thanks - I suck at narrative.

Luna Guardian · #10 Post by **Luna Guardian** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:13 pm

I'll sign up as well, be it as a fluff writer or a developer (or both!)

Hey, someone has to bring in radical ideas and keep the other crazy ideas in check

Musashi · #11 Post by **Musashi** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:22 pm

Marketing guy: I'll called you all together today, to discuss this year's coming projects.

Fluff guy: Since when does marketing decide what projects we have?

Creative guy: Since we incorporated and went public.

MG: It's a new year and we need to increase our month over month sales.

Accounting guy: How about a price increase across the board.

Sales guy: Our customers will revolt.

AG: We need to generate more revenue. Why don't we tell them the cost of raw materials and production went up?

Production guy: While they did increase over a short period, they've now gone down.

AG: Excellent, we should be seeing better net revenue.

SG: Unfortunately, due to the Recession, sales are down.

MG: That's why we're here today, to get people buying more miniatures, to cover the shortfall.

SG: We'll have to get more people interested in the hobby and our models, since most of our old clientele have already bought most of what they want.

MG: We'll have to get them to want more. Here, look at this diorama I had the Art department make up. (places set on conference table)

CG: Looks like an RBT and crew.

MG: Not just any RBT, but one with an explosive spearhead.

FG: Explosive spearhead? (takes closer look) those aren't LSGs.

CG: Are they wearing ... are they wearing an oilskin coat and cap?

AG: (ardent fisher) And sealskin boots.

MG: This is one of our latest ideas - Cothique whalers.

FG: Cothique whalers?

CG: Didn't know Elves hunted whales.

MG: It doesn't say anywhere that they don't.

FG: Well ... no.

MG: And High Elves finally can have a strength 7 harpoon.

FG: You don't use a harpoon on the battlefield.

MG: You know, I believe that you aren't a team player.

FG: Say what?

MG: A team player, you aren't contributing in forwarding the company's goals, and your negativity is impacting company morale.

FG: Oh, come on. Next we'll have Cothique privateers and characters ripped off from all those Pirate movies.

CG: Hey, where did you get hold of my proposals? They were marked for management eyes only.

FG: You're taking that from 40K.

CG: Am not - it's a homage.

MG: He's contributing, what are you doing?

FG: (shakes head)

MG: We've a;so decided to add an additional Army Book to our [product line.

AG: Won't we be diluting our brand?

SG: We're cramped for shelf space as it is.

MG: It's still secret, but someone is interested in taking over the company.

PG: You're kidding! Maybe my options are worth something again.

MG: Nope, this company thinks that we might be able to synergize with their core products in a new market.

SG: Where?

MG: The Far East.

FG: (voice of doom) Cathay.

CG: Cathay? That was supposed to remain terra incognita. Besides, I thought we weren't interested in doing a fourth human army.

MG: Who said anything about human.

FG: (warily) Chinese Elves?

MG: We thought about another Elf list, but that would be too much of a good thing.

CG: (happily) Nipponese Bunny Girls, with real ears! Nekomimi Cat Girls (outing himself as an otaku)

SG: It would be ... original for us.

MG: (coughs) No, we've already trade-marked the new names, in accordance to the possible overall marketing strategy of our potential new owner.

PG: That would be ...?

MG: Imperial Gnomes.

FG: Imperial Gnomes ....

CG: (taking it in) Yes, I see. It's a wonderful concept: Super Deformed Characters rushing around with katanas lopping off heads.

MG: We're quite proud having come up with the concept of iGnomes ...

FG: iGnomes .... iGnomes .... wait a minute, exactly who's buying up the company? (sound of car stopping in front of building; everyone looks out of the window; a thin man in a black turtleneck steps out of the limousine)

CG: (awestruck, pushing aside his Macbook) it's the Great One.

PG: George Lucas? (trying to get better view)

FG: No, it's Steve Jobs.

Allerion · #12 Post by **Allerion** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:22 pm

when declaring the thundercats are charging, it HAS to be a rule that you have to say:

THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOOOOO...

Arondight · #13 Post by **Arondight** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:54 pm

Ow.

I fell off my chair laughing while reading the second bit.

SG: Where?

MG: The Far East.

FG: (voice of doom) Cathay.

CG: Cathay? That was supposed to remain terra incognita. Besides, I thought we weren't interested in doing a fourth human army.

MG: Who said anything about human.

FG: (warily) Chinese Elves?

MG: We thought about another Elf list, but that would be too much of a good thing.

CG: (happily) Nipponese Bunny Girls, with real ears! Nekomimi Cat Girls (outing himself as an otaku)

SG: It would be ... original for us.

MG: (coughs) No, we've already trade-marked the new names, in accordance to the possible overall marketing strategy of our potential new owner.

PG: That would be ...?

MG: Imperial Gnomes.

FG: Imperial Gnomes ....

CG: (taking it in) Yes, I see. It's a wonderful concept: Super Deformed Characters rushing around with katanas lopping off heads.

This entire bit is brilliant.

In response to the Whalers: We got Lion Chariots. I don't see that as too far-fetched.

Musashi · #14 Post by **Musashi** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:46 am

I'll be honest, at the moment I'm thinking of Gnomes, so anyone who wants to back out, may do so with no loss of face and appreciation from me.

Marwynn · #15 Post by **Marwynn** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:29 am

Allerion wrote:when declaring the thundercats are charging, it HAS to be a rule that you have to say:

THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOOOOO...

I already do that. With everything.

draxynnic · #16 Post by **draxynnic** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 10:12 am

Arondight wrote:Ow.

I fell off my chair laughing while reading the second bit.

SG: Where?

MG: The Far East.

FG: (voice of doom) Cathay.

CG: Cathay? That was supposed to remain terra incognita. Besides, I thought we weren't interested in doing a fourth human army.

MG: Who said anything about human.

FG: (warily) Chinese Elves?

MG: We thought about another Elf list, but that would be too much of a good thing.

CG: (happily) Nipponese Bunny Girls, with real ears! Nekomimi Cat Girls (outing himself as an otaku)

SG: It would be ... original for us.

MG: (coughs) No, we've already trade-marked the new names, in accordance to the possible overall marketing strategy of our potential new owner.

PG: That would be ...?

MG: Imperial Gnomes.

FG: Imperial Gnomes ....

CG: (taking it in) Yes, I see. It's a wonderful concept: Super Deformed Characters rushing around with katanas lopping off heads.
This entire bit is brilliant.

In response to the Whalers: We got Lion Chariots. I don't see that as too far-fetched.

In fact, to be fair, I think it is in estabolished fluff that the Cothiquans do hunt sea monsters of various kinds. Whales may well be among the safer things they might be going out after.

Luna Guardian · #17 Post by **Luna Guardian** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 10:16 am

Do whales even exist in the warhammer world? I'd think that all the sea monsters would've eaten them by now!

iGnomes,eh..? Gives me and iDea

Arondight · #18 Post by **Arondight** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:36 am

Imperial Gnomes can use artificial constructs to bolster their short size.

...artificial constructs.

Short. Constructs, possibly out of -

....

HOLY [CENSORED] on a [censored] [censored].

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE OPENED THE FLOODGATES TO?!

STEAM-PUNK. STEAMPUNK, I TELL YOU!

Marwynn · #19 Post by **Marwynn** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:39 am

Nah, the Empire's Steampunkish enough.

Gnomes eh? WoW has forever tainted my view of them.

Musashi · #20 Post by **Musashi** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:54 am

Actually, the rot started with Dragonlance:

Tinker Gnomes.

And what could they possibly tinker with?

Also, they have a pretty clean slate in Warhammer, hardly anyone knows they exist, and the designers have been trying to retcon them out of existence by ignoring them.

#21 Post by **Ruerl Khan** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:42 am

Musashi wrote:Also, they have a pretty clean slate in Warhammer, hardly anyone knows they exist, and the designers have been trying to retcon them out of existence by ignoring them.

*somewhere in the world yet another fimir curls up in a fetal position and cries itself to sleep*

Cyrannoc · #22 Post by **Cyrannoc** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:24 pm

undead leprachauns?.....its just a thought.

draxynnic · #23 Post by **draxynnic** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:42 pm

Ruerl Khan wrote:
Musashi wrote:Also, they have a pretty clean slate in Warhammer, hardly anyone knows they exist, and the designers have been trying to retcon them out of existence by ignoring them.
*somewhere in the world yet another fimir curls up in a fetal position and cries itself to sleep*

Poor little fimirs...

>.>

<.<

Confession time: I liked fimirs!

#24 Post by **Ruerl Khan** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:01 pm

draxynnic wrote:
Ruerl Khan wrote:
Musashi wrote:Also, they have a pretty clean slate in Warhammer, hardly anyone knows they exist, and the designers have been trying to retcon them out of existence by ignoring them.
*somewhere in the world yet another fimir curls up in a fetal position and cries itself to sleep*
Poor little fimirs...

>.>

<.<

Confession time: I liked fimirs!

draxynnic · #25 Post by **draxynnic** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:34 pm

Heh.

To be honest, it was the appearance, and that it was something unique, that I liked about them. The background and social structure... not so much.

Lord Anathir · #26 Post by **Lord Anathir** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:01 pm

dabber wrote:Steps 7 and 11 are also skipped. Well 11 is sometimes done, but not in any sort of time frame.

lmao. You beat me to it.

Arondight · #27 Post by **Arondight** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:09 am

Wait, gnomes exist in Warhammer? O_o

grantmepower · #28 Post by **grantmepower** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:13 am

Arondight wrote:Wait, gnomes exist in Warhammer? O_o

Of course they do!

Spiked-Lord · #29 Post by **Spiked-Lord** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:52 am

Dogs of war...

Seriously I wouldn't be suprised to find a unit of wooden sheep in dogs of war if I hadn't read the list...

Musashi · #30 Post by **Musashi** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 6:35 pm

Fluff guy: (sitting in a large corner office with forest view) You wanted to see me?

Marketing guy: (sitting in his E5'000 panda leather chair) Yes, I've read your memo, outlining your concerns with our new product line.

FG: (picking up proto-type sculpture) New miniature? Looks like a Pegasus, but the armour rather elaborate, even for Brets.

MG: They're not Brets.

FG: No?

MG: They're Dragon Princes.

FG: I begin to see the resemblance. Why?

MG: The Creative Department thought it might be nice to let the DPs without Dragons fly.

FG: I don't recall any Pegasi in Ulthuan; unicorns, yes; Great Eagles, of course; but Pegasi.

MG: Then they transplanted them and bred them. Besides, it will be a special limited edition, the Dragon Boyz will buy them in lots. And you can't say it wouldn't fit the fluff, since Caledorians love to fly, and taming a Pegasus must be easier than to tame than a Dragon.

FG: Well, no ...

MG: Production is already halfway through the batch, so there's nothing you can do to torpedo this idea. And speaking of torpedoing, there are some of us in the company that feel you're stepping outside your bailiwick in questioning the creation of our new series.

FG: We meaning you.

MG: Think of the new markets we could be opening with this Army Book. Cathay. China. (waves hands about)

FG: Think of the implications. Chinese, not particularly renown for height. Gnomes, rather short in stature. It could be considered culturally insensitive.

MG: That's a negative stereotype. Think of the positive ones, industrious, organized, focussed, on the go ... ...

FG: Why not hamsters then?