Humorous HE Warband Fluff

[Mithstar]

I wrote this for a small warband campaign that was set in the Empire. It is in no way meant to be a writing masterpiece, only a fun to read warband intro. Enjoy!


It is a beautiful day in the Empire. Birds are singing songs, bunnies are hopping and the Mage Suske is on a very exiting and secret (very important that it is secret. In fact, even I, the author, don’t know what it is.) mission. Only the bravest (read most annoying) of Ulthuan are chosen for these deadly missons of arti…, uhm, missions of gre…, uhm, missions of secrecy.

“I don’t understand how I ended up on this assignment,” complained Suske aloud to Sagara, captain of his guard. “Back at Ulthuan,” he continued, waving his hand carelessly in the direction of Ulthuan setting three bunnies on fire in the process, “all my comrades are setting out in an attempt to awaken a Sun Dragon.”
“Absolutely dreadful sir,” replied Sagara stiffly.
“I could wake a Sun Dragon and save Ulthuan!” Suske excitedly continued.
“Ah, the flying claws of death routine,” replied Sagara and under his breath, “how original.”
“Heavens no! I can’t stand the sight of blood. It makes me faint!” said Suske shocked.
“Then what do you need a Sun Dragon for!” screamed a wound up Sagara.
“To woo the ladies of cause,” replied Suske, barely containing his excitement. “You know, to get a date with one of them. Walk her home. Get invited in for coffee. And then… SAVE ULTHUAN!”
A shocked “Ughhh” was all that Sagara could get out before collapsing in disbelieve.

But, before Suske could continue torturing everyone with his fantasies, a spearman came running towards them. “Ogres approaching, Ogres approaching! A mercenary warba… What happened to Captain Sagara?” he interrupted himself.
“Got a bit excited I fancy,” replied Suske.
“Everyone, FORM UP!” shouted Sagara, revived by the prospect of a battle.

[Elessehta of Yvresse]

^_^ Were you watching Full Metal Panic when you wrote this?

[Mithstar]

Fumoffu!!! I tried an Elven name creator first, but the names were just 2 words thrown together (like stormwing, nighteyes, etc) and I did not like it. It didn't feel like the names WH High Elves should have. So, while watching FMP I decided that Suske sounded like a good Elven name and I used it...