[Frolicking] with free verse

[Rustoof]

So i'm not a poet at all, but i was reading seidell for a bit and wanted to try to write like that. Stream of concious type shit and yadda yadda yadda. Oh it's also mad long because i did it like the whole 80 minute accounting class I was in

So without further ado;

Haze, Smoke, Fog, Mist
I'm so fucking tired
strung out, high, stoned, manic
raving like a crackhead preacher
in the mind
Why's there so much blood?
Mental hymens shattered
and red drips down corneas
red haze, red fog,
dim lips outlined
a pussy

Wake up, you're dying
blackout, drunk, sleep
hercules, bad things in my mind
trains full of whores crash
on Normandy beaches
Maginot line defending virtue
I'm a panzer
out of gas

Mt. Vesuvius at Pompeii
Water Cannons in Birmingham
Missile Silos in Cuba
Cold War in mind,
explodes onto pages

Drunken Orgy from Rome
more hideous on paper
unhidden from virtuous eyes
keep it secret or the
whitecoats will take you

Fuck Seidel, Accounting
Virgins and Pot
Champagne, Roses and whores,
red and gold and grease,
nausea from the smell
Hold your nose and chug

19 and full of hate
debit love, credit hate
It has to be equal
debit pussy, credit pussies

Tall, blond handsome pussies
with cars and jobs
and no rabid wolverines
in their heads
can't get pussy
too boring, like oatmeal

Roll brain out like dough
wrap yourself in it
bake for eighty minutes
go nuts, find pot,
Pussies everywhere

Guns, Guns, Guns, Guns
skullfuck the barrel
debate the balance sheet
Assets: Scotch Liabilities: Me
Scotch greater than me
holster and run

Run far away, like the past
space time continuum
in the wake, cleopatra,
wakeboards
i'll thro a venomous cobra
and laugh while the venom spreads
like a nut through intestines
bitch whore goddess fake

Imagine a fountain spewing garbage,
In a park full of kids
their moms pull dildos from the trash
and bring their own batteries
wholesome fun for the whole family
little johnny plays with needles
and has AIDS. But no one knows yet

Ugly, boring, hiding
Rock, Paper, Scissors
in the dark, missionary
finding and raping,
stupid to hide,
fool everyone,
one knows,
can't hide from him
he's chasing, gonna
kill me. Have to be
pretty or firing squad
I want a cigarette
and no blindfold
Can't be pretty,
pretty is boring


Ok, so I have no idea how i feel about that coming out of me. Some honest criticism would be nice. I've never taken any college level writing class, and never studied poetry to the point where i should be writing free verse. ANyway, anything you find interesting would be appreciated.

Sorry to cramp your style but I don't want that kind of odious and harmful language that I use every day often and like breathing on the main page.~VictorK

[Arellion Sapher]

Missile Silo's in Cuba

Watch your apostraphes, hoss. Unless you're trying to tell us that an individual named Missile Silo is in Cuba, or the single missile silo is in Cuba.

But it's pretty disturbing stuff. Kudos for scribbling down the dark within.

[Aerendar Valandil]

Who is Free Verse?