The Child of Asur: Part II

[tomwhar]

After leaving Finubar's court, Eltharion was put on a convoy to Central Saphery where the sacred Tower of Hoeth stood and looked out over the peaceful countryside. The moving and pain made it hard for the once great general to stay awake. He would slip in and out of consciousness like oars in water. Damp cloth was placed over his forehead to calm and relax him. Eltharion was deep in sleep.

Up in the clouds over Tor Yvresse was its warden on his War Griffon, Stormwing. They would circle over the city while the folk below regarded them with pride and awe. Eltharion would look down upon the crowd and see their uplifted faces. He was Eltharion. He was the defender of Yvresse. He was an icon. The dirty, filthy goblin hordes cowered behind the orcs; too tormented by their defeat at Eltharion's hands. Stormwing circled back towards his dwelling...

Belannaer awoke him and patted him with a damp cloth.
"We have arrived my lord."

[Dannaron]

Not too bad, though not much here for me to actually critique.

Well, except to say that if the updates are this small you might want to add them as replies to this thread rather than making a new thread every time: otherwise you'll clutter up the forum.

[tomwhar]

I was going to make it a lot longer but I as tired so decided to submit and sleep on it and let other people brew it over.

[Dannaron]

More than fine, and I'd certainly like to see where it goes, but why not just put the whole story into this thread? Each time you update put in a new reply. Then, once the narratives finished and you'd like to write a sequel, you can make a new thread for that.

[tomwhar]

I catch your drift. I will add more when I can but I have just started to test the Eltharion on Stormwing 'Eavy Metal Masterclass so it may not be for a while yet.

[tomwhar]

The Child of Asur: Part III

He crouched onto his knees, feeling the floor of the cart to make sure there was enough room to get up. He slowly rose to his full six feet of height and crouched when his fair hair brushed the canopy of the wagon. Two soldiers scrambled over to the cart to aid the blinded general. He stepped out into the open for the first time in two days. The breeze softly caressing his useless eyes. If, by some secretive lore, he regained his sight he would have seen the perfect white elven tower loom ominously above him. This is where he would have to regain his reputation or fail his king and all of Ulthuan. Most importantly Tor Yvresse.

The sword will be an extension of his arm. His movements a blur to enemies and traitors. Belannaer healed while the Swordmasters trained. He took the tutoring in his stride. His blindness barely an impairment. He could sense the soldiers around him and feel them on his flanks. No living enemy would be spared of Eltharion's wrath.
"Feel the sword as it swings, permit it to stab and slash. Only Asuryan may save you if it falls from your grasp," rythmically said the Swordmaster, "fight back and regain your honour. The general Eltharion is great again." Eltharion felt his muscles tense and he smiled as he felt the stimulus of pain. No soldier could face him, even if he couldn't see them.